Desperate for Love Read online

  Desperate for Love

  Aliana James

  Copyright © 2019 by Aliana James

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Please note that some scenes contain the mention of violence and/or a violent act. This book is intended for adults over the age of 18.

  For my family

  Contents

  Prologue

  1. Chapter One

  2. Chapter Two

  3. Chapter Three

  4. Chapter Four

  5. Chapter Five

  6. Chapter Six

  7. Chapter Seven

  8. Chapter Eight

  9. Chapter Nine

  10. Chapter Ten

  11. Chapter Eleven

  12. Chapter Twelve

  13. Chapter Thirteen

  14. Chapter Fourteen

  15. Chapter Fifteen

  16. Chapter Sixteen

  17. Chapter Seventeen

  18. Chapter Eighteen

  19. Chapter Nineteen

  20. Chapter Twenty

  21. Chapter Twenty-One

  22. Chapter Twenty-Two

  Epilogue

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  Coming Soon!

  About the Author

  Prologue

  Travis

  A beep sounded, followed by a click. Travis ignored the noise and burrowed deeper into the warmth of his pillow.

  Another beep.

  What the hell?

  He scrambled out from under the comforter. In the darkness, he rubbed his eyes while trying to find his pants. A glance at his cell phone confirmed he had only slept two hours.

  He padded into the hall, holding his phone in case he needed to call the cops. Since he’d only given out one key, he doubted it would be necessary. He flinched as his eyes adjusted to the kitchen light spilling into the hallway. The sound of humming filled the air and the refrigerator door opened and closed. Peeking around the corner, Travis cursed.

  His brother, Tyler, smiled at Travis. “Hey. Didn’t mean to wake you. Sorry.”

  It didn’t surprise him. Tyler operated on his own sense of time and his own schedule.

  Travis shuffled into the kitchen, grabbed the bottle of painkillers by the sink and shook out a couple. There was a dull pain throbbing behind his eyes. He poured a glass of water, downed the pills before leaning on the counter and glaring at his brother.

  Tyler sat on a stool and pulled the sandwich he’d made toward him, the sandwich bulging with everything he had in the fridge. Worried he hadn’t been eating, Travis’s eyes lingered on the sandwich and then on Tyler’s face. His long hair hung over his eyes, blocking half of his pale face.

  “You look like shit.”

  Tyler glanced over at him. “You’re one to talk. Rough night in La La Land?”

  No sense in reminding him it was three in the morning and he had just gotten to sleep. “Hmm. Seventies night last night,” he mumbled.

  “No shit. Sorry I missed it.” Tyler wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and Travis cringed. “Men in tight bellbottoms?”

  Travis laughed. “There were a couple.”

  Yeah, he had looked. What good did it do? The packed club didn’t give him a minute to visit the other side of the bar. It didn’t matter, since nothing caught his attention these days.

  “Why are you here?” Travis asked.

  He didn’t mind him visiting. Minus the waking up part.

  “Been working long hours, not getting much sleep,” Tyler said with a shrug. “Your place was closer than Mom and Dad’s.”

  Most of the time, to Travis’s dismay, their parents and Tyler ignored each other with Tyler avoiding them as much as possible. Their younger sister, Gracelyn, provided a buffer during the summer months, but she was away in her junior year of college. Sensing both Tyler and their parents needed a break from each other, Travis gave him a key.

  “At the factory? I thought there wasn’t a third shift available.”

  If Tyler had been working so much overtime, where was the extra money?

  “There is.” Tyler hesitated as he took another bite.

  “It’s good you’re working extra… for the loan payments.”

  Tyler nodded as he focused on his sandwich and avoided looking at him. A thought crept into his mind, one he wanted to ignore for the time being. Tyler needed sleep and from the looks of him, food. And because Travis was awake, he was hungry too. Damn it.

  He turned to the fridge, pulled out the ham and made a smaller sandwich for himself.

  “Isn’t it time you started dating again?” Tyler asked with a mouth full of food.

  Travis stopped chewing and looked at him, puzzled at the abrupt change in conversation.

  “I’m serious,” Tyler said. “It’s been, what? Six months since you broke it off with Peter?”

  “Nine,” Travis grunted in response. Travis’s relationship with Peter ended months ago and as busy as he was, he still missed him from time to time. He missed sharing the bed with someone. Sex. But who the hell had time?

  “I know it’s my fault Peter left.”

  The throbbing in his head continued and his shoulders ached. The pain pills hadn’t kicked in yet.

  “No, it wasn’t. Peter wanted…” Travis remembered Peter’s complaints were about his hours and his family.

  “I heard you guys one night.”

  Travis stared at Tyler, eyes wide.

  “Not that, thank Christ.” Tyler laughed. “No, you guys were arguing. He complained you were never home.”

  Peter found someone else who’d be there for him. Travis started to talk, but Tyler interrupted him. “It’s because of me you work so much. Peter was a good guy. I’m trying to fix things. I’m sorry.”

  Travis couldn’t stay mad at him, not for any length of time.

  Fix things? Before he could ask, Tyler continued.

  “We should go out. Hit a couple bars, find a guy or two.”

  His thoughts spun from the change in the topic and he shook his head.

  What if Tyler ran into one of his old gambling buddies? No thanks.

  “Hey!” Tyler waved his hand in front of Travis’s face. “Don’t you miss Peter?”

  Tyler couldn’t be more wrong. A flush warmed his cheek. He needed a glass of water. “No, no, I don’t. Honest. And not because I don’t want to hang out with you but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  “It’s a good idea!” Tyler stopped eating, stood up from the stool, and shook his butt from side to side. “I mean, who wouldn’t want this?”

  Travis laughed. Tyler always made him smile. He loved his little brother and did anything for him. He just wished it hadn’t equaled Travis working two jobs and selling his car.

  “You going by Mom and Dad’s later today?”

  Tyler’s shoulders slumped, and a frown replaced the bright smile from a moment ago. Their parents were a difficult topic for Tyler. It didn’t stop Travis from trying to get them to talk to each other.

  “Ty?”

  “Yeah. I’ll stop by later. I have things I need to take care of first.”

  Travis looked at him and smiled. “Need help with anything?” His mother had told him several times that Tyler was an adult but it was hard for Travis. Even though there was only eight years between them, Tyler considered Trav
is more of a father figure than their own father.

  Tyler shook his head as he grabbed his plate and walked to the sink, leaning toward his left side.

  Travis frowned. “What happened to your foot?”

  Tyler stopped and turned. “Nothing.”

  He didn’t have any muscle cream but maybe a warm compress would help. “Did you take something for the pain?”

  “I’m fine, stop worrying.”

  He walked around the kitchen island and pointed to Tyler’s right leg. “You’re limping.”

  “I’m not,” he said as he limped to the other side.

  Travis placed his plate in the sink, looked back and caught Tyler’s grimace as he hopped on the barstool. “Something is wrong. Let me see it.”

  “Not happening, so drop it. Please? I need to sleep.”

  Sleep sounded good to Travis. An ache in his neck throbbed along with his head and back. His two full-time jobs exhausted him. They’d talk in the morning.

  Travis pointed to the couch. “Take the couch. I’m in the middle of cleaning out my closets.”

  “What’s wrong with the bed?”

  “It’s covered in clothes.”

  Tyler laughed and half-limped, half-walked to the couch.

  “I’ll bring you a pillow and a blanket. Do you want a heating pad?”

  Tyler sat on the couch and took off his shoes. “Fine. Thanks.”

  Travis paused. When was the last time Tyler said thanks? Tyler hadn’t said a word when he saved his ass last year. He tossed the box of heating pads, a blanket and a pillow at Tyler before shuffling back to bed.

  He stripped to his boxers and crawled under the comforter. After five minutes of tossing, he gave up and lay on his back staring at the ceiling.

  His younger brother loved to gamble. Travis wasn’t stupid enough to think he’d quit, but he encouraged Tyler to get help. When Travis was in high school, he worked at the local gift shop. Not Tyler. No, he hustled garage card games for extra money.

  The way he looked tonight was the same as when he used to play for forty-eight-hours straight. Tyler lost, again and again, but it didn’t stop him from playing. Travis frowned. And here he was paying for the damn gambling marker.

  What did he mean by trying to fix things? Should he go ask him? He stretched and yawned. Better to wait until they weren’t both so tired.

  But what if he was gambling again? Their parents, livid after helping Tyler out at least twice, had no clue how much debt Tyler had accumulated. Even with two jobs, there were times he didn’t have enough for the monthly payment. He missed his car. Dinner with his friends.

  He’d get the answers in the morning.

  Sunlight blazed through the windows the next time he opened his eyes. Last night’s aches and pains still hurt, but at least he’d gotten a few hours of sleep. He rolled over and stretched his arms.

  Tyler. He needed answers. Coffee first. Then they’d talk.

  He slipped on a pair of sweatpants and brushed his teeth. Coffee brewing, he checked on Tyler. The blanket lay folded on the couch with the pillow on top. Travis circled the couch looking for Tyler’s shoes or his phone.

  “Tyler?” No answer. And no sign of his brother.

  Chapter One

  Travis

  Joggers and walkers littered the path. Everyone had the same idea. The weatherman called for rain but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.

  He wasn’t sure what possessed him to wake up at ass o’clock in the morning. He didn’t get to sleep until three, so getting out of bed at eight for a run definitely equaled early.

  There was no chance of him relaxing once Tyler left. He needed a good run to shut off his brain. Two women jogged past him. As he leaned over to stretch his left leg, he caught both of them staring.

  Just another day in the park.

  “Still ceases to amaze me,” a voice said. “The gay guy gets all the chicks.”

  He laughed and gave his best friend, Alec, a quick one-armed hug.

  “Hey, man. I can’t help it.” He laughed. Not his fault people looked. He didn’t mind. “And what about you?”

  Alec’s complaint was for show. He turned heads, both women’s and men’s. Alec’s large frame intimidated most but he poured on the charm when he wanted something or someone. Alec enjoyed being a player and worked his way through guys. None of them stuck.

  “I didn’t expect you to see you this morning,” he said, leaning to touch his toes. “Late start?”

  Alec smirked. “Yeah, late night last night. I ran into Calvin. You remember him?”

  “The waiter from dinner last week?” The grass, soft and thick, cushioned him as he stretched. Pain from running was no joke. He learned the hard way what happened when he didn’t warm up his muscles.

  “Yeah, that’s the one,” Alec replied, bending his knee to his chest.

  Once Alec set his sights on Calvin, the poor boy had no choice.

  “Wasn’t he too young for you?”

  “Nope. His age is a plus,” Alec said as he raised his eyebrows. Travis groaned.

  “Will you ever settle down with someone?” His best friend’s latest conquest was the last thing he wanted to discuss.

  “What’s got you all cranky this morning?”

  His brother. Lack of sleep and hmm, what else? Oh, right. Lack of sex.

  Alec ran around a group of mothers with strollers and Travis jogged to keep pace with him.

  “Morning, ladies,” he called.

  A chorus of good mornings rang out along with whistles and catcalls. Phones centered on Alec as they passed, no doubt uploading his whereabouts to social media.

  “Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Alec said. Sometimes hanging out with Alec had its perks; other times when people took his picture without his permission it became a pain in the ass. Today, apparently, Alec didn’t mind the mommy paparazzi.

  “So… what’s up?”

  Alec was nothing but persistent, if not bossy and outright annoying.

  “Tyler stopped by last night. He looked like shit,” Travis said. Alec increased his pace to jog around a group of cyclists. He sighed. Alec’s perfect physique led from his wide shoulders down to a sculpted, slim waist and a taut, firm ass.

  He could look. And appreciate. Man, did he appreciate Alec’s body.

  Alec jogged in place until Travis joined him.

  “You think he’s out getting into trouble again?”

  The question kept running around his mind.

  “I don’t know. Something isn’t sitting right with me,” Travis answered. Tyler’s tendency to gamble wasn’t new, but the drama Tyler caused wasn’t something Travis shared with Alec.

  “You talk to your parents?” Alec asked.

  “No, but I will when I stop by later today.”

  They jogged in silence, a rarity for Alec. A frown replaced Alec’s earlier smiles.

  “You okay?” he asked. Travis knew that Alec hated quiet. Something, he’d told Travis, from his days in the service.

  “Shit, it’s my grandfather,” Alec said as he glanced at his smartwatch and grimaced. “Sorry.”

  A group of runners forced Travis to the opposite side. He slowed to a walk while Alec answered his phone. By the time the crowd passed by, Alec had tucked the phone back in his pocket and jogged in place.

  “That was quick.”

  “Yeah, I have to go see him,” Alec said right before he increased his pace.

  The talking part of their morning run had ended.

  Alec

  “Come in, Alec. We have changes to discuss.”

  Alec’s grandfather stood behind his old oak desk, his back to Alec as he gazed out the window. This room never changed. Floor-to-ceiling curtains draped the walls, making the room seem darker than it was. Dark wood shelves overflowed with books. Two hunter green chairs flanked the front of the desk inherited from his great-great-grandfather.

  The smell of lemon oil and cloves reminded him of his childhood and the hours h
e spent in this room. Today, however, cigar smoke wafted through the air. Patricia, his grandfather’s housekeeper, forbade him to smoke anywhere else in the house.

  Alec picked up the picture of his grandmother that sat perched on the desk. A memory of cookies popped into his head. Oatmeal cookies. He’d been five when his grandmother died. Memories of her were rare. But he liked her cookies.

  He put the frame down and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m listening.”

  His grandfather glanced at the picture and gestured for him to sit.

  “Have you spoken to your father?” Grandfather grabbed a newspaper and tossed it onto the desk in front of Alec. His father’s latest scandal graced the front page.

  He didn’t need to read it. He’d spent an hour on the phone with his mother.

  “No, he’s not one of my favorite people.”

  “Nor is he mine, son. I just don’t understand…” Grandfather shook his head. “It doesn’t matter how many times I question his behavior or your uncle’s. It never makes sense.”

  His father’s reckless actions infuriated him. To see Grandfather upset, it added another layer of anger. Alec jumped in his seat as his grandfather’s fist slammed against the desk. “What the hell was he thinking?”

  His father wasn’t thinking with his brain if the news were true. The police found him naked with a drug cartel’s daughter.

  “Your uncle called this morning after the news hit.” His grandfather leaned back and took a drag of his cigar. “He asked if I needed any help to deal with your father. Ha!”

  Alec’s uncle wasn’t much better than his father.